Express Media – We're here for young writers

Jonathan Mills began the State of the Arts lecture by explaining what he wasn’t going to do. He wasn’t going to give us a report card or an over view of where the Arts are at. Instead his intention was to speculate about the arts today globally, address assumptions about the place of the arts in our lives, and reveal a general state of mind.

And do this he did, to a point. Mills was an engaging speaker, and he drew from diverse areas to illustrate his points, he used global examples and broke apart terms we take for granted like ‘multiculturalism’, ‘culture’, ‘relativism’ and ‘cosmopolitan’. However, I didn’t discern the heralding of a new and exciting idea about the industry.

If you're in Melbourne, we're running another Voiceworks Live event this Thursday, and we'd love to see you there. There'll be readings from Birthmark, including Daniel Hogan, Christopher O'Neill and Holly Voigt. We'll give away some prizes in games of boggle and a spelling bee, and the editorial committee will do a radio play of Danielle Bink's 'Is this a miracle?' All of us have a face for the big screen, not radio, and the only way to enjoy said faces is to be there! It's a free event at the Wheeler Centre, but bookings are required. To see what happened the last time we did one of these, see Sam's recap.

I’ll admit it. Between the ages of thirteen to sixteen I was an avid reader and writer of fan fiction. Brace yourself because I’m about to declare something nerdy in the extreme. My friends and I called ourselves the Marauders (if you don’t understand the reference then you are officially cooler than me. If you do, you may still be in the running – we would need to swap details to confirm). I was James. Enough said. Anyway, writers of fan fiction like to fill in the gaps. Though much fan fiction is not erotic, leaving out the vast amount of fan fiction that plays out the hilarious fantasies of fans would be a glaring omission; every reader of fan fic knows about the R-rated tab. Basically, erotic fan fiction is about taking characters beloved by many and turning them into sexual deviants – it’s wholesome family fun!

Okay probably there won't be too many sexy times at this event, but I am nothing if not flexible when it comes to making double entendres. (Double entendres about me being flexible also welcome.) The Wheeler Centre is hosting a second speed dating night for all you single literary hunks and hotties out there. Bring along your favourite book and maybe you will find someone to help you crease those covers (the book's). Just imagine the moment when you see that not only has someone brought the same book as you, but a shiny first edition of the hardcover. Wow! You can sleep with them, and then in the morning run off before they wake up with your guilt and their first edition. Almost everyone wins! Really, I think this is a neat idea, but please, please, post lots of puns below. Update: Ladies, unfortunately this event is now booked out for women. Gents, this event is now booked out for women!